Family battles small town cemetery over headstone décor

13 June 2023

SCRANTON (KSNT) – One family is fed up with the way a small-town cemetery is policing decorations on their loved one’s graves.

Debra Main said she laid her husband, Randy Main, to rest in Scranton cemetery in 2015. Main’s grandparents bought multiple plots decades ago to prepare for the inevitable and keep their family together in the cemetery. She paid her grandma for two plots, one for her and one for her husband, whenever the time came. Main told KSNT 27 News she, or her family, makes frequent trips to visit her late husband and keeps his grave looking pristine.

“Since he passed, there have only been four months that we have not been down there taking care of the grave, decorating it and cleaning up around it,” Main said.

The Scranton Cemetery Association operates the cemetery in the town of less than 700. Main said, for the past few years, some of those in charge of the cemetery have been making it difficult for her and her family to decorate the gravesite as they wish. She believes the groundskeepers have damaged the headstone multiple times while mowing, because she can see marks from the blades. She has paid for different repairs to keep the headstone’s integrity.


Topeka mom charged in Girl Scout deaths

Running out of patience, the Main family decided to lay rocks and decorative edging around Randy’s headstone and her grandparents’ headstone in 2017. They believed this would protect the headstones and prevent damage from the lawn mower. The family has been maintaining the decorations every couple of weeks until recently, when Main received a letter from the Scranton Cemetery Association.

The letter read, “To whom it may concern: Please contact a board member to discuss the placement of unauthorized fencing on 2 burial sites in the Scranton Cemetery. The board has enclosed a listing of regulations regarding the placement of unauthorized fences, etc… Thank you, Scranton Cemetery Association.”

Photo courtesy of Kristen MainPhoto courtesy of Kristen MainPhoto courtesy of Kristen Main

“From 2017 until May 27 of 2023, nothing has been said to me about the rocks being there, being around Randy and I’s stone,” Main said.

Main assumes she broke the following rule:

“Fences, concrete bases, ornaments or hanging basket holders of any type are not permitted in the First Addition. Board approval must be obtained in the Old Section. The Association has the authority to remove any or all unauthorized fences, plants, bases, ornaments, vases or holders of any type.”

KSNT 27 News reached out to the Scranton Cemetery Association to confirm the letter’s legitimacy, the board’s concerns and requesting an interview. The treasurer and secretary for the association declined to comment. 


QuikTrip planning to add Emporia location

Main said this is the first time the board has provided the family with this set of rules. However, a similar set of rules is posted outside the cemetery. Main said she was confused on the timing of the letter and what prompted it. The family attended the association’s board meeting on May 30, 2023, in the hopes of finding some common ground.

“I felt like if they didn’t want the rock there, they should have told me to remove it back in 2017, 2018 instead of waiting this long,” Main said. “I felt bullied, and I was really hurt at the fact that they weren’t giving me a chance to be heard.”

The board told Main and her family that they had until Thursday, June 8 to remove all rock, fencing and decorations. Worried to lose their property, Main said the family picked up the decorations around the headstone, but not the rocks and wooden edging. She said she is tired of the back-and-forth, telling 27 News these negative interactions make her feel like her hard work is a waste.

Photo courtesy of Kristen MainPhoto courtesy of Kristen MainPhoto courtesy of Kristen MainPhoto courtesy of Debra Main

“I try to make sure to take care of things and make sure it was nice and make sure that everything was the way it should be,” said Main. “And then these people come in and it was like ripping my heart out.”

Main and her family visited the cemetery Monday, June 12, to see their rock and edging around the headstone removed. Pictures show the rock piled up by the cemetery shed, but the family could not find the edging pieces. Main said she has tried to get in contact with Scranton Cemetery Association Monday but did not receive an answer.

The family filed a police report with the Scranton Police Department and KSNT 27 News has requested a copy.

Main said she filed another police report in ​late May when more decorations went missing from the gravesite. KSNT 27 News has reached out to different board members for the Scranton Cemetery Association since June 6, but has not heard back outside of the treasurer and secretary declining to comment. When asked who owns and runs the cemetery land, neither the City of Scranton nor Osage County didn’t know.

Need help?

If you need support, please send an email to [email protected].

Thank you.