22 February 2023
EMPORIA (KSNT) – Typically, February is known for the holiday of love. However, not all relationships are good for the heart.
February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Advocates say it’s time to educate young people of the importance of keeping early relationships healthy and what red flags they should avoid.
SOS Kansas Inc. is an Emporia-based non-profit that focuses on empowering people impacted by domestic violence, abuse, stalking and more. In addition to supporting those victims, they also provide prevention education.
“We feel it’s important to get that word out,” SOS Executive Director Connie Cahoone said. “If people don’t know how to have healthy relationships, or don’t know what unhealthy looks like, how will they ever grow and go forward.”
According to SOS, almost 70% of students aged 12 to 18 that have experience dating, experience some kind of abuse.
“I think so much of it comes down to power and control,” Cahoone said. “We’re all trying to feel our way out in the world. You get jealous, or you start talking bad, or you’re expecting control because you think you love them and that’s the only way to control them. That’s not healthy for anybody.”
When keeping an eye out for abuse, some warning signs may be more subtle than others. Experts say violence in relationships typically doesn’t start with one person being physical.
“It starts escalating from the verbal to pushing, shoving, very much manipulation,” Cahoone said. “Keeping you from the money, keeping you from taking your phone away from you, keeping you isolated – it just continues to get worse. Where there’s physical abuse, and murder even.”
With red flags, family and friends may speak up as well. Keep in mind, how you bring up your concerns makes a major difference in what the person will take away.
“Nobody likes to be told that they’re doing something wrong,” Cahoone said. “I need people to remember that when they’re talking with their teenage kids, don’t tell them that they’re doing something wrong. Maybe just suggest that there is something they themselves need to be thinking about.”
Experts at SOS say setting boundaries and expectations with communication early on is incredibly important for those first serious relationships because those values carry on into future relationships as well.